Recovering From Burnout

Recovering from burnout can be very long, and very difficult. It can seem even longer and more difficult because, generally speaking, people who suffer from burnout are not usually very patient with themselves to begin with, and are not used to sitting on the sidelines of life watching everyone else “get ahead” or have fun. If nothing else, burnout recovery is an exercise in patience.

Burnout creeps up on you over a matter of months or, more realistically, years; don’t expect it to disappear in a matter of days or weeks. Surrender to your body and its needs: if it is telling you to stop, then stop, don’t try to keep going. A simple week-long trip to the Caribbean will not cure you (although of course it won’t hurt!). Depending on the severity of your symptoms, you may not even be able to consider going on a trip. The thought of packing your bags will probably seem overwhelming. Nevertheless, it will be essential to get away somehow: perhaps find a quiet place in your home where you can be alone for a significant portion of each day, or go somewhere where someone else can look after you. (Most people who suffer from burnout are not used to being looked after, so this can be a real challenge.) I had a great friend who took my kids overnight twice in two weeks—the longest I’d ever been child-free in my house. The main thing is to try to “turn off” for as much of every day as possible. Your system needs to reset. Sleep, read, watch TV, rest, write if you can. Do all of this as much as possible, even if (especially if) it means taking time off work. (I realize this isn’t possible for everyone; check with your doctor, your employer, and your insurance company to see what’s possible.) Give yourself the gift of time. But remember, bodies are like nature: think of how slowly the passing of the seasons takes place. Winter doesn’t suddenly become summer; rather, over the course of several months, the temperature fluctuates significantly, the snow melts and then falls again, flowers start to push up from the ground only to be dumped on by the next storm. Finally one day you realize it’s summer and you’ve forgotten all about the sub-freezing temperatures and snowstorms. You can only see progress when looking back over long increments of time. Burnout recovery is the same. Most of the people I’ve spoken to that have suffered major meltdowns say it takes years, not weeks or months to recover from a full-scale burnout.

From day to day you may see no improvement, feel no better. But after a few months go by you’ll realize that you’re awake for more of the day than you were before. You may even feel significantly better. But try not to get discouraged if suddenly you seem to be back to square one: it’s always two steps forward and one step back. You feel better, you push yourself a little more, your body and mind react, and you find yourself in a setback. This will keep happening for a long time, possibly the rest of your life, unless you’re really really careful about balance (work-life balance, activity-rest balance, doing things you don’t like but have to do vs. doing things you don’t have to do but love to do, etc.). Sometimes things you are doing to help yourself recover can set you back: in my case I signed up for a very low-key yoga class, which helped enormously at first until I suffered a severe upper back spasm doing a simple gentle move; that spasm and the mechanical problems underlying it became my main source of extreme pain for over a year following.

Try not to succumb to despair. Stay focused on anything positive, no matter how tiny. Surround yourself with supportive, positive people, and eliminate negative people from your life. Feel all the emotions that surge up inside you; don’t hold them in. There are no time restrictions to healing, and the body won’t heal if the mind stays unhealthy. Find a therapist to help you work through all of the emotions you will undoubtedly have to deal with. Things will come up from the past: let them out. You will feel discouraged by the slow pace of progress: find a way to lower your expectations.

Remember, it is enough to just BE. You don’t need to achieve, accomplish, or prove anything. This need to DO can be an extremely hard habit to break. Balancing being with doing may be the best investment you can make while recovering from burnout. Looking to the animal kingdom can provide you with role models! Do what you have to do to meet your needs, and spend the rest of the day lounging in a sunny spot.

Here are some of the things that I, and the people I’ve spoken to, have found helpful while recovering from burnout (over the next few months they will be linked to other blog entries): meditation, yoga, prayer, practicing gratitude, exercise, walking, walking aimlessly, seeing good friends, hobbies, tai chi, cooking/baking, writing, spirituality.

Most importantly, take care of yourself EVERY DAY! Eat well, sleep well (this may take some practice; many burnout victims haven’t slept well in eons), laugh, and do something you like just for pleasure every single day.